A Day of Friends

Hello Everyone, Ron here.

I’ve got a few things on my mind, and some things to say about each and every one, but they seem to be still stirring around, just out of grasp or articulation. 

Bear with me, please, I feel a ‘ramble’ coming on. 

Although I’m quite sure it’s a bit complicated right now, and needs to be contemplated before it becomes clear, kinda like a firm grip on mashed potatoes, I’m confident, or maybe deluded, that what comes out of it will be meaningful somehow.

In any case, I’ve gotten started with it; confirmed by watching my fingers across the keyboard as I absently ponder these random thoughts.

Let’s call this a day of friends.

I sit here occasionally trying to keep up with, gain/share insight from/to, people who’s name bring some recollection and reflections of my roots, my growth, and my existence today on that thing they call FaceBook.

I got to thinking about it; the time involved, the benefits, the drawbacks and so on…

To me, it gets a bit frustrating.  You see I’m still using my high-powered laptop bought back in 2003 (top of the line then), packed full of high-end video with a true-color backlit LCD screen (it even has an RCA jack for video connection for presentation purposes), an unheard of 512M of memory and 18 Gig hard-drive, DVD player, 1.44M floppy drive, 2 Universal Serial Bus connections, infrared, modem, built-in 100Mbs Network Interface Card, 2 PCMCIA Card-Bus slots, all powered by the new Celeron processor.

In other words, it crawls when trying to keep up with all the fat programming and cool features on the World Wide Web today; not to mention the security programs & patches.

(I’ll get back to the friends thing in a minute: More with the techo-babble for now, I think I’m getting closer to a point soon with it)

To give you a little background, I’m a computer guy; Hardware/Network technician and Networking/Security Engineer for over 18 years, not counting the last decade or so.

On this high-powered rig I’ve got two network sniffers, two network scanners, four web browsers with numerous plug-ins, three HTML editors not including Word, a couple of virus/spyware scanners (I highly recommend Ad-Aware by Lavasoft [still using the free version], a plethora of utilities for this and that, three operating systems as well as many current and historical documents and photos.

I’m thinking that it’s probably a good thing that I haven’t spent that $400 for a new Toshiba Satellite rig.  If I had, I would be surely suffering from information overload.

You too then could possibly be overwhelmed as I’d be at full-speed, without the buffer of this machine making me wait.

And waiting I do.  Good thing though, gives me pause to consider whether the information I’m trying to acquire is worth the wait and necessary as well as if what I’m about to put out there is good and beneficial: Kinda like a built-in ‘engage brain before opening mouth’ tool.  [But, as you can see/read, it’s not entirely fool proof.]

{Back to that ‘friend’s day thing’ as promised, and how it’s somehow related to the above}

In my consideration of the grand scheme of things, I consider how I, and others around me occupy themselves and spend time.

I have friends that don’t use the computer much, and aren’t tied to their cell phones, and friends who’s computer is their cell phone and with them all the time. 

I watch and note as people together are semi-isolated collectively, giving almost all attention to their FB/social media devices, and still manage to come near to a full conversation when prodded.

A couple of friends of mine routinely stop by my motel room for a couple of hours in the evening to hang out & watch a movie or TV.  I find it notable and nearly humorous that while we’re together they are tuned to their Android devices and me to my computer.

One of us will ask “FaceBook?”, the other(s) will nod, while finishing the absorbing or sharing, whichever is currently occupying the front part of their attention while the boob-tube rattles in the background struggling for top billing. 

I ask “What’s going on?” as we don’t all have all the same friend lines.   I got a real chuckle out of one response: “Oh you know FecesBook, same ‘ol shit”.  Yet nearly instantly, like a cat’s attention to a laser-pointer, full attention is right back at it.  After a few moments, the device is put down, almost guiltily, as if actual conversation while together had been set-aside in error.

Goodness knows that recently, I’ve put quite a bit on FB; sharing other’s inspirational, humorous, societal, and sometimes political picture posts. Occasionally I do share an original thought or two, many of them a bit too long-winded or chimed-in almost obtrusively.

In any case, I have decided that even with the monitoring and social engineering risks, tools like FB are indeed valuable.

Today I visited with friends on many levels. 

A close high-school friend who I hadn’t seen face to face in nearly 30 years got in touch with me while he was in town and stopped by the shop and rode around the course with me.  They don’t live that far away and we’re planning for beers & BBQ soon.

Another friend who’s meeting is more recent as neighbors in Waterman came up to see me and talk about a project they want to get done on their home. I also got a compliment/encouragement regarding my writings here as well.

Yet another long-time friend will be passing by this way soon on their trip from Florida to Minnesota and we’ve tentatively set-up a dinner together on the pass-through.

Others dropped by with a plate of their Easter dinner today, and I went to breakfast with yet another.

On top of all that, I have laughed, been encouraged, saw beauty in words and photos, felt another’s concerns, shared some of my own, been spurred to see the world through a different viewpoint, been listened to and thought of both deeply and casually, and generally been included as a part of this human existence as I’ve tried to do the same for others around me both near and far.

No, things like FB are not either bad or good inherently: It’s the value you find and share while utilizing (or not) tools like it, or the telephone, or the post office, or eye-contact and courteous hello (or not) as you pass by that decide that.

Yes, today was a day of friends; and now it’s a new day.  I hope to make each day a day of friends, whether I’ve not yet met them or have known them for years.

Take care everyone.

Still Ron here…

Sometimes (, I continually wonder).

I put a few words up yesterday (today?).

I mentioned that I'd break-out, separate, a bit o' writing from a while ago.
Here it is:

Sometimes,

I continuously wonder.

How it is possible

to see beyond the looking glass?

It's as if that all we have to do

 is take a brief moment to care,

 then, if we are aware we can see,

if only for a brief moment,

far into someone else's

reflection.

And somehow we are puzzled,

and stop in a moment of disbelief,

to ponder and calculate

 why it cannot be that easy

to see ourselves

until far after the damage is done.

How is it that we only have hindsight?

Spectacular 20/20 vision;

and then,

pretend we knew all along.

Is it hope?

Or is it simply desire,

hiding the things we know,

 from ourselves?

Or is it somehow,

mysteriously,

both?

As best as I can figure it is this…

Shine a bright light into the looking glass

and all you see is light.

Stare at the glass in total darkness,

and that is all you see.

Someday,

with joyous pain,

we will determine

 what we already knew was there.

But yet, we can't help to wonder,

if we are ever really ready to know.

And that's what real friends are really for;

 A brief glimmer in the dark, or shade in the blinding light.

Somehow, they are on the other side of the looking glass

and yet beside us at the same time.

Curiously seeing us, while looking for themselves.

Now What Am I to Do? - Historical

Here's another pulled from the archives...

This was from years back, Recovery of Y2k Connecting.
Sometimes connection includes losses, some great; then again, when I consider it now...

Hey Heather,
Remember me mentioning the 'VERY difficult' time?
Well this is from an important one in between then & now.

It's a bit dark: Ok though, I got through it.

----------------

Fresh thoughts of the day in a few moments, something current, today.
It was a good day. I promise to share my take on it soon.

---------------

Writing of past:

Now what am I to do? 

Quandary is not the proper word.  Turmoil doesn’t quite fit either, and anguish is too strong.

My life is nearly in pieces, no it IS in pieces.  Shattered all around me

“It would show that you had some pride left.”

“Fresh Out”

“I’m not the one who hates you; you’re the one who hates you”

“And I get to live with myself 24/7”

Once one’s self worth is depleted, how can it be returned?

Once you completely give up and say “Fuck it all”, how do you return from that?

I know, I’ve done it before.  You just keep moving, but if you don’t have anyone to help you with a direction, you just keep going in circles and end up sitting in the same place wishing for destruction.

Where am I now?  Sitting? Standing, walking, running?

“I’m six feet from the edge and suddenly six feet doesn’t seem so far down”

Before, once I could breathe again, work was my salvation; buried myself in it once I got off the phones and back into what I do best.  Now there is no work, no automatic motivation; things to do if you just show up on time, there is nothing, and it’s hard to keep moving.

This is one of the things that I was deeply afraid of.  I seemed to be OK when it was just me here.  No, I was ok on most all levels, because I had removed certain levels from my life, which was sure to end anyway.

Then came you, sweeping into me, making me feel again.  When did I let my guard down?

Until you, I knew I was utterly alone; then you, then I found out that I hadn’t really faced the realization of what utterly alone meant.  I had purposely killed that part of me which needs anything; supplicated it with things that couldn’t affect me, and ‘good times’.

Well, now I’m affected, and close to the point of giving up entirely; run to the woods and leave everything behind, convincing myself that there wasn’t anything there I really cared about anyway.  Ready again to die alone and hoping that it’s soon.

I cannot let you go, but I cannot have you either; maybe it is closer to anguish than I thought.

Vocabulary, Reflections, & this Writing Thing

It's been quite some time, seems like a couple of decades, since I've utilized this forum.
Life changes quickly sometimes.

I was a bit confused when my stats say I last published on 11/18/2011, and I can't seem to recall or see anything since 9/4.  Like I said, it's been quite some time.

I'm not quite sure yet what the topic or subject/title-line for today is yet; just felt like writing and have recently been encouraged to do so.

Most of the times when I feel like writing, I reserve.
As is stated in the header/introduction, "this may not be a good idea".


My concern is not that I will offend anyone; that's never my intention.
(Somehow it seems I  to do that without any intent at all.)

Back to my concern:
 Words are dangerous.

Thoughts are great. Feelings are more than OK too.
But words, yo buddy!  Gotta be careful with that vocabulary thing.

You see, the meaning of words are a lot like perceptions.
One can almost be assured that another is seeing what you see while beside you, having the same vantage point, understanding, while standing there looking, while having a conversation about what's visible & remarkable.  That assurance is only faith. Faith in vocabulary and the proper use of words, and of course, understanding itself.


If both stood there in silence, observing the remarkable without remarking, enjoying the togetherness in observation, both would remember the moment, the observation or view, in a comfortable feeling.

Maybe each would spend that moment considering themselves, or possibly the other, and the other's  perception.
But that really wouldn't matter, because it wasn't shared, just thought.  The only matter would be when words were used; the interaction.


I'm not even convinced that my concerns in writing are founded.  I'm not sure if they (concerns/reluctance) are for me, or the reader/hearer.  I don't wish to offend, but I don't want to be misunderstood either.
Words are dangerous, but I can't seem to get over my enthusiasm to use them succinctly; to connect & understand or portray.


Some concern comes from the turmoil around us, the difficulties, the news headlines, the economy, the politics, the opinions.  I've got all of the above & don't want the soapbox.  I just want to reflect my observations, and really, that's what they are, observations & things to consider.

Another MAJOR concern is that I am just too exposed, too open.  I should, most times, not let people see into my core being, the reality of me. That's not the way the world really works. Gotta keep a stiff upper-lip, appearances & all that, BE somebody.  (I know Ron & he's definitely not nobody, unless your counting Caesar's coins.)

Being too exposed & open is not necessarily a bad thing; in fact, I tend to think society needs to do just that.
Gotta get our heads outta the sand, or TV, Facebook, or whatever & look around.  Reality is everywhere & shouldn't be avoided.  Honesty & Reality are the keys to this crisis. (notice I didn't say 'Brutal Honesty' or 'Stark Reality'? Still gotta consider the human condition)


Back to communication, perceptions & reflections...

While I was sitting here watching my fingers on the keyboard & considering words, I recalled a writing I did some years ago.  Surprisingly, I quickly found it.  It should probably be a separate post, but I'll including it here for a bit of better understanding as to what I'm trying to get at; I'll post it separately in a few days.

The header of this work is:

Copyright  June, 2003; First Serial Rights, Ron Gedye  - In the mist of the fog, can you still see me? [ For my Friend; I see you.]


and the footer:

Unauthorized publication for profit or personal claim in any form or manner whatsoever is wholly prohibited without express written permission of the author. 

Duplication and distribution of complete and unaltered document image only (document creation must be method obscured) is permitted for general public use in accordance to the provisions contained herein.  Share, think and enjoy.

(guess I kinda did this about writing seriously at one time or another...)

Here's the thought/writing, enjoy & consider:

Sometimes,

I continuously wonder.

How it is possible

to see beyond the looking glass?

It's as if that all we have to do

 is take a brief moment to care,

 then, if we are aware we can see,

if only for a brief moment,

far into someone else's

reflection.

And somehow we are puzzled,

and stop in a moment of disbelief,

to ponder and calculate

 why it cannot be that easy

to see ourselves

until far after the damage is done.

How is it that we only have hindsight?

Spectacular 20/20 vision;

and then,

pretend we knew all along.

Is it hope?

Or is it simply desire,

hiding the things we know,

 from ourselves?

Or is it somehow,

mysteriously,

both?

As best as I can figure it is this…

Shine a bright light into the looking glass

and all you see is light.

Stare at the glass in total darkness,

and that is all you see.

Someday,

with joyous pain,

we will determine

 what we already knew was there.

But yet, we can't help to wonder,

if we are ever really ready to know.

And that's what real friends are really for;

 A brief glimmer in the dark, or shade in the blinding light.

Somehow, they are on the other side of the looking glass

and yet beside us at the same time.

Curiously seeing us, while looking for themselves.

I hope you enjoy my use of words and the reflections.  I'll try to line this thing out & be here more often; just please don't misunderstand me or find offense. It'll never be my intention to hurt or offend, not even observe & report; more like consider & reflect.


Thanks Gina & Jennifer for your compliments.  Hope you don't mind that I've take them as words of encouragement. Either way, I appreciate the reflection.

Your Sunday Morning Cartoon

50 year old cartoon tried to warn us.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CjrZNi49bE&feature=share

A friend shared this via Facebook, thanks Tim.
Before it finished playing I've shared it as well.

Definitely worth10 minutes of your time...

Enjoy.

Welfare - Better a comment here...

A Facebook friend recently did a 'Copy-Paste' repost on her status regarding Florida, Kentucky & Missouri now drug-testing as a part of the Welfare application process.

Here's a copy of that post:
"Whoooo-Hoooo!!!! Thank you Florida, Kentucky, and Missouri, which are the first states that will require drug testing when applying for welfare. Some people are crying and calling this unconstitutional. How is this unconstitutional? It's OK to drug test people who work for their money but not those who don't?… Re-post this if you'd like to see this done in all 50 states!!!!"


A bit of discussion was started with a couple of varing viewpoints.  I had thought about making comments of my own, there on her page, but thought I might have a bit more to say on the subject, so I put it here instead.


The Welfare State of Mind: I'm Entitled!
(Smoke Two Joints...)

Many companies require drug testing as a part of the Application & New-Hire process. Quite a few continue testing randomly throughout the term of employment.

This testing is done for one main reason:
Mitigating Liability.

If a company wants lower insurance premiums, less vunerability to lawsuits, and the ability to separate the company from the individual who acts irresponsibly under the influence while acting as an agent of the company, they choose to require drug screening.

Makes sense to me whether I like it or not.  The Company has acted responsibly, preserving their assests proactively. They have performed 'due diligence' in protecting themselves and the customers they serve.

That said, let's move on to Welfare.

In general, I like the concept.
In seeing the results, I do not.

Everyone needs help from time to time.  Some don't have wealthy families or friends to lend a hand: Some did, until they began asking too often.

Unfortunately, getting something for free makes one comfortable & expecting more of the same.  The sense of appreciation in getting the help quickly fades into a determination to figure out how to get more of it, rather than moving on; a definate distraction helping one better themselves and 'stand on their own two feet', so to speak.

A sense of 'Entitlement' & 'Deserving' (no personal action required) quickly replaces 'Lacking & Needing' (which normally requires personal effort to overcome).


To further clarify my point, I'll share a personal reflection that was confusing & frustrating at first, then appreciated in retrospect.

I recall the day, as a young man, that I went & asked my Dad for some spending money for this or that.  He looked at me and said 'Don't have it to give. Guess your gonna have to get your own'.

You know, it turns out that's exactly how the real world works...


OK, onto the issue of the State's choice.  Seems that right off the bat, people seem to be upset because they feel the State has no business in their personal life; thus this cry of unconstitutionality. Really?

Have these people thought that MAYBE these States are acting proactively in identifying where the real help is needed? 'OK, you have no money & don't work & now we see that this could be because you have an addiction that's possibly a big part of the root problem. Here's how we start helping you ...'

This incurs more expense of this State, now providing substance abuse programs for those who obviously can't afford them.  This expense should however, aid to healthier & more employable citizens

This type of State expense is much more prudent than just placing 'band-aids' (handouts) on gaping wounds (poverty).

But, is this constitutional?  Well, I'm not a lawyer and haven't read these States constitutions so I'll reserve that for those of you who are & have.  MY guess would be that the people who live in those States would rather have job-providing companies looking in their direction as the population is generally more employable there because the State has performed it's 'due diligence'.

• If I file for unemployment, I've got to be looking for a job.
• If I'm asking for a job, I've gotta be ready to work.
• If I want to be ready to work, I've gotta be responsible enough to do so.

(All of these above somehow involve my personal life)

• If you ask the State for assistance, you've gotta be ready to be a 'Ward' of the State.
• If you're prepared to a 'ward' of the State, even temporarily, better be prepared for personal exposure.
• If you're prepared for personal exposure, congratulations, 'You're Employable'.

Even today, if I'd ask my Dad for money, the answer would probably be the same.  If he did have some to spare, he'd darn sure ask very pointedly 'What are you spending your money on Boy?'


No offense intended to those in need of assistance;
unless you're comfortable with it.

- JUST STAY -

I don't usually forward forwarded emails & haven't been here in awhile, but this is worth sharing:

..... Just Stay 
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. 



"Your son is here," she said to the old man. 



She had to repeat the words several times before the patient's eyes opened. 



Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent.. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement. 



The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed.All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. 


He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients.. 



Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. 



Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited. 



Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her. 



"Who was that man?" he asked. 


The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered. 


"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life.." 



"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?" 



"I knew right away there had been a mistake, 

but I also knew he needed his son, and his 

son just wasn't here. 

When I realized that he was too sick to tell 

whether or not I was his son, 

knowing how much he needed me, I stayed." 

I came here tonight to 
find a Mr. William Grey. 
His Son was Killed in Iraq 
today, and I was sent to 
inform him. What was this 
Gentleman's Name? 

The Nurse with Tears in 
Her Eyes Answered, 
Mr. William Grey............. 




The next time someone needs you ........ just be there. Stay.